


Idiots in Love

by SingingInTheRaiin



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Gen, Rose can will and should punch gross people, oblivious doctor, the Doctor and Rose are married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:33:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22368766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SingingInTheRaiin/pseuds/SingingInTheRaiin
Summary: 5 times the Doctor doesn't understand derogatory remarks from assholes, and 1 time she does.
Relationships: The Doctor (Doctor Who)/Rose Tyler, Thirteenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Comments: 15
Kudos: 243





	Idiots in Love

“Married, huh? So which one of you wears the pants in the relationship?”

First, the Doctor had to remind herself that Americans meant pants differently than the British did. Then she glanced down at both herself and Rose’s legs. Rose was in a pair of jeans with some glittery stars around the pockets, and the Doctor was in a pair of dark gray trousers. She looked back up at the man who’d asked the question. “It’s actually quite inconvenient to be running around in a skirt, so I’m not sure what else we’d be wearing.” The Doctor could feel a mix of amusement and concern over her bond with Rose, and it was a familiar enough feeling that she wondered what she’d misunderstood this time.

The man they were talking to let out a loud laugh, like the Doctor had just made some kind of hilarious joke. Rose stepped forward to grab the Doctor’s hand and give it a gentle squeeze. “Just ignore him. He’s being an ass.”

“But I don’t-”

Rose leaned in close to speak softly enough for just the Doctor to hear her. “He’s asking who’s the man of the relationship.”

The Doctor furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “Well it’s me, obvious- oh, wait, no, not anymore. Wait, if we’re both women, why would he-”

Rose sighed, and the Doctor immediately identified it as her ‘my wife is an idiot but I’m still madly in love with her’ sigh. “Like I said, he’s just being an ass. Some people feel strangely entitled enough to try and dictate what they think are the proper gender roles within a relationship.”

The Doctor hummed under her breath in answer, though she was sure that Rose could still feel her confusion over their bond. “Right…”

Rose put a hand on the Doctor’s shoulder, and then stepped out in front of the Doctor. “There’s really only one way to respond to a guy like this.”

The guy in question shot a leering grin at Rose, and even the Doctor knew that that was not a friendly look, and definitely not a look that she wanted other people directing towards her wife. “Oh yeah? And how’s that, sweetheart?”

Rose gave him a perfectly pleasant smile, though it wasn’t even close to being as brilliant as those tongue-touched ones that the Doctor could never get enough of. “Like this.” Then she sucker punched the man right in the nose, which produced a satisfying crack and caused blood to start dripping down. The man staggered back and started shouting insults and suggestions that seemed physically improbable, but Rose just grabbed the Doctor’s hand. “Run!”

They made it back to the TARDIS in one piece, both of them laughing by the time they’d slammed the door shut behind them and taken off. Yaz looked up from where she’d been sitting on the jumpseat, skimming a newspaper from Klaxus VI. She arched one eyebrow. “And what kind of trouble have you lot gotten yourselves into this time?”

When the Doctor tried to protest and explain that she didn’t always get into trouble, Rose just laughed even harder, until there were tears sliding down her cheeks. The Doctor grumbled about the unfairness of being ganged up on as she made her way over to the console to pilot them away. She wasn’t actually upset, though. It was nearly impossible to be angry with her wife when she was allowed to hear a sound as beautiful as Rose’s laugh.   
,,,

“Well if blondes have more fun, then two blondes must have all the fun there is to have.”

The Doctor frowned at the man who was the mayor of the town they’d just saved from being flooded. “Blondes have more fun doing what? And more fun than what?”

The man grinned widely, showing off his half-rotted teeth. The Doctor wasn’t generally one to judge anyone based on their appearance, but she was willing to make an exception just this once. “Come on, loves, show us a kiss.”

“Look, I know that it isn’t entirely uncommon for us to kiss when we get swept up in the feeling of victory, but a lot of people got hurt today because of your carelessness, and we need to address what you’re planning on doing to take care of them.”

The mayor shrugged one shoulder. “They’ll be fine,” he told her dismissively. “They always bounce back. I can think of a few other things I want to see bouncing, too.”

The Doctor furrowed her eyebrows and opened her mouth to ask for clarification, but Rose finally showed up, apparently having finished treating the people that she could. “If you’ll excuse us,” she said without any of her usual politeness, and then she pulled the Doctor away. “Blokes like that make me sick.”

“Yes, his breath was rather overpowering.”

Rose stopped, and just stared at the Doctor. “You don’t seriously…” then she trailed off, and laughed. “Of course you do. Oh Doctor, never change.”

The Doctor wanted to point out that the odds of regenerating into an identical body were so low they may as well have been zero, but Rose had already wandered off to help the next injured person, and the Doctor just sighed before joining her wife.   
,,,

“You’re pretty smart for a chick.”

The Doctor looked up from the numbers she’d been in the middle of calculating. She’d been pretty lost in thought, caught up in the excitement of solving the supposedly unsolvable equation. “What?”

The scientist shrugged, and looked slightly annoyed. “You know you could at least thank someone when they compliment you.”

The Doctor had to mentally rewind through the past few seconds, and then she got to what the man had said to disrupt her in the first place. Something about her being smart? “Yeah, sure, thanks,” she told him before focusing back on her work. This was exciting stuff, and she didn’t want to lose track of what she was doing.

When she finally finished the equation, which was indeed solvable! the Doctor realized that she was alone in the room full of whiteboards. The door swung open a moment later, and Rose walked in, oozing self-satisfaction over their bond. “I didn’t want to disturb you, but you seem to be finished now. We should probably get going, though.”

The Doctor frowned. “Why?” 

Rose just laughed. “Because it’s no fun to get in trouble, just to make it!”   
,,,

“Why if it isn’t two of the sexiest ladies I’ve ever seen. How would you two like to have a threesome?”

The Doctor could mentally feel Rose’s massive sigh before it physically slipped out of her mouth. “We are not interested.”

The alien lady just puckered her mouth and batted her eyelashes. “Oh, but if you knew what I have to offer, you would be very interested.”

The Doctor looked back and forth between Rose and the alien. “We’re married,” she explained to the alien, expecting that to be the end of that.

She was surprised when the alien just shrugged. “Hey, makes sense to me. Of course two sexy little mamas would be married. Doesn’t mean you have to miss out on what I’ve got.”

There were many cultures across many different races that didn’t care about monogamy the same way that humans and Time Lords did, so the Doctor couldn’t blame the woman for not quite understanding. “We’re only with each other, but it was nice of you to-”

Before she could finish that sentence, Rose grabbed her hand and dragged her away. “You are utterly hopeless,” she said with a soft laugh.   
,,,

“You just haven’t met the right man yet, honey. I’m not saying that your girl isn’t hot, because I would definitely bang her, but you can’t really think that the one for you is a woman.”

“Of course she’s the one for me. She’s my wife and we’re in love, what else could I want?”

The man grinned. “Oh honey, I would love to give you a very long and thorough answer to that.”

Rose crossed her arms over her chest. “Back off.”

The man laughed. “Or what? What’s a little girl like you gonna-” he was cut off when Rose swung her backpack at his stomach and knocked the wind out of him. He let out a little squeak, and then Rose stomped on his foot for good measure. 

The Doctor frowned. “Rose, you know how I feel about violence-”

“Believe me, he deserved it.” The Doctor trusted her wife, and decided to take her word for it as they left the little marketplace.   
,,,

“It’s just such a waste, you know?” 

Rose narrowed her eyes. “No, I’m not sure that I do.”

The man shrugged. “A pretty thing like you saddling yourself to that bitch for the rest of your life? Believe me, you can do so much better.”

One of Rose’s eyes twitched, and then she scoffed. “What, like you?”

The man grinned. “If you’d like. I’ve also got a few buddies that I’m sure would love to have a go. You’ll realize just how much you’re gagging for-”

The Doctor cleared her throat. “That’s my wife you’re talking to,” she said through gritted teeth. The man didn’t realize it, but the Doctor had the full Oncoming Storm look in her eyes. “You will show her the respect that she’s due.”

The man just rolled his eyes, clearly unconcerned. “I was just saying-”

“I know what you were saying,” the Doctor interrupted. Then she held up Ryan’s phone, which she’d borrowed at some point and meant to give back ages ago. “And now your wife does too. Now if you’ll excuse me, my wife and I have some business to attend to anywhere but here.”

Once they were back on the TARDIS, Rose pushed the Doctor up against the console to give her a long kiss, and then pulled away breathlessly. “Thanks for that, though I could have handled it myself.”

“I know that you’re a capable woman, but that doesn’t mean I won’t defend you where I can.”

Rose gave the Doctor a thoughtful look. “To be honest, I’m a bit surprised that you even understood.”

The Doctor thought of a supremely awkward conversation she’d had with Graham the other day when she’d wanted to know why Rose kept punching people lately. “Er, yes, well, even I can- that is to say- I don’t- I am capable of understanding when someone is harassing my wife!” 

Rose laughed, and grabbed one of the Doctor’s hands to tug her in the direction of the corridor. “How about you and I go and remind ourselves of just how wrong all of those assholes are about us?”

The Doctor felt her face start to heat up (which was quite bizarre, since Time Lords weren’t supposed to be able to blush), but she nodded. “Yes, I would be amenable to that.” Rose continued to laugh as she pulled the Doctor to their bedroom, ready to show her wife just how grateful she was for the save.


End file.
